Make a list of the things you dislike about yourself. Now, make a list of the things you like about yourself. How many items are on each list? The first list is typically way longer for most women than the second. In fact, a study of 2000 women showed that the average woman criticizes herself at least eight times a day. Here is the thing, there will always be something we don’t like about ourselves. On the other hand, there is at least one thing we like about ourselves, but we are often blind to it. So, until we accept that we are all perfectly imperfect, we will keep hitting our heads against a wall.
Exploring our imperfections
I bet you came up with your list of dislikes faster than you did with your list of likes. One reason is that we constantly think of our imperfections, so they remain at the forefront of our minds.
Now, what is your number one imperfection? For most women, it is image-based. In the study of the 2,000 women conducted by Weight Watchers, most women wanted to lose weight.
Top areas women are most self-critical and examples
1. Weight: “I am too fat or overweight.”
2. Appearance: “I wish I had a smaller waist and a firmer butt.”
3. Career: “I wish I had a different job or position.”
4. Finances: “I wish I earned more money.”
5. Relationship: “I wish I had a friendlier personality.”
Women versus men on self-image
Although men sometimes struggle with their self-image, their struggle is nothing compared to ours. Interestingly, studies show that regarding body comparisons, women are self-critical, whereas men are self-hopeful.
I wish we women would become more like men and stop focusing on our imperfections. I am thankful that my husband is blind to the flaws I often complain about. For example, when I complain about my belly pooch, he tells me, “But that is the normal human anatomy. A human being is supposed to have a stomach!”
And the gender difference is not only limited to body image. Despite evidence that men and women are equal in intelligence, men usually estimate their intelligence to be higher, whereas women have a lower estimate of their intelligence.
In conclusion, when it comes to our imperfections, men see a half-full glass, whereas we women see a half-empty glass.
Perfectly Imperfect – by Declan J Donovan
This song is about inner beauty and self-worth. According to the singer, the song is about people who make your life special without even realizing it. It’s about people with no self-belief or confidence, yet others cannot imagine a world without them. Donovan said, “Everyone has their own vision of what it means to be ‘perfect,’ but it’s actually our imperfections, our scars, experiences, both good and bad, that make us one of a kind and better people overall.”
Here are some excerpts from Declan J Donovan’s Perfectly Imperfect:
There’s nothing you could try to change my mind
’Cause I’m in love
So call me when you want me, and I’ll come running
Find me waiting at your door
So tell me if you’re lonely and it won’t last long
’Cause I’m in love with you (you)
You wake me up
And it breaks my heart
That you’re perfectly imperfect
You’re hurting, but you’re worth it
You don’t know why
I would waste my time
But I’m falling, and I mean it
I want you like I need it
There’s nothing you could try to change my mind
’Cause I’m in love with you
Please watch this Perfectly Imperfect video showcasing real people and some of the negative effects of social media on people’s body image and self-esteem.
What can we do about our imperfections?
First of all, perfection does not exist. To learn more about perfection, please check out “Perfection is Possible: Yes or No?”
Nevertheless, we don’t have to simply accept our imperfections. More often than not, we can improve on our imperfections by doing the following:
1) Take action
If your imperfections bother you that much, you have the power to take action. For example, the commonest area women are most self-critical is their weight. And you can take action today by exercising and eating healthier to maintain a healthy weight.
2) Focus on your positive attributes
Remember that list of likes you wrote at the beginning of this blog post? Now, start adding to it daily. If you are mindful, you will start noticing more things you like about yourself. Add to and read the list daily. And very soon, your focus will change from your imperfections to your perfections.
3) Take one step at a time
Now bring out your dislike list, and pick one thing you can start working on today. Don’t try to work on everything at once because you will get overwhelmed. Once you improve in one area, your success will spur you on to tackle the next imperfection.
4) Have a sense of humor
Learn to laugh at yourself. Don’t beat yourself up when your imperfections show up. Instead, laugh it off, and file it away as something you will deal with when you are ready.
5) Stop comparing yourself to others
Stop the comparisons. Everyone has things they are good at and things they struggle with. And definitely, avoid comparisons on social media. Remember that most social media posts show the most fun, exciting moments of people’s lives. And also, in this age of AI and filters, we must realize that what we see on social media is often not real life.
6) Speak God’s word
God’s word says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Therefore, always remind yourself of this: “You are an imperfect person completely qualified for a perfect purpose.”
7) Embrace your imperfections
The truth is that new imperfections will emerge over time, especially as we get older. So, learn to embrace your imperfections or flaws!
Final thoughts
First, cheers to the people in our lives who love us despite our flaws. However, more important is God’s love for us. God loves you despite your imperfection. To God, you are perfectly imperfect, and he loves you all the same!
Next, read the lyrics of “Perfectly Imperfect” above again. And believe it or not, God is in love with you, as imperfectly perfect as you are, and there is nothing you can do to change His mind. He is waiting at your door, waiting for your call, and He will come running.
“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” (Rev 3:20, NLT).
So today, all you have to do is open your door to the one who loves you despite your perfect imperfections. And in due time, you will learn to love your perfectly imperfect self!
Please feel free to comment below and share this article.
Yours in health and fitness,
Doctor Abi
