Last month, my older sister celebrated her 50th birthday. It was a week-long affair that started with a girls-only cruise and ended with a grand party, Nigerian style. Interestingly, until a couple of months ago, my sister was adamant about not celebrating this important milestone. Her ideal way of celebrating was to be thankful to God and enjoy a quiet dinner at home with her husband and sons. Because we are alike in many ways, I thought this was a great idea. So, I encouraged her to do just that! After all, we can celebrate good times quietly, right?

At least, that was what I thought until our Nigerian family and friends came calling. Everyone wanted to know her plans for her birthday. They found it incredulous that she was not planning to have a big party to celebrate her 50th. And after talking to her, they would call me to express their disbelief. Naturally, I felt caught between a rock and a hard place. I understood perfectly why my sister would want a quiet birthday. At the same time, I was moved by how many family members and friends wanted to celebrate her. So, should we or should we not celebrate good times, including birthdays and significant milestones?

Celebrate Good Times – My sister’s 50th Birthday Celebrations

So, our “Nigerian people” eventually got through to my sister’s husband, who then decided we needed a party to celebrate my sister. Unfortunately, he could not convince my sister, so he came up with the “brilliant” idea to have a surprise 50th birthday party for her instead.

Anyway, after planning the surprise party with my brother-in-law for a while and knowing my sister very well, I realized this surprise party may not be a great idea after all. No offense to men, but you must be very talented to plan a big party like that to a woman’s satisfaction, especially a Nigerian Ijebu woman. Starting from the venue, the guest list, the menu, etc., I realized the surprise party may end up being a train wreck.

So, because I am the best sister ever, I called my sister and said, “Bola, the party is happening with or without your input. You can either get involved by planning your party to your satisfaction or accept whatever party your hubby comes up with.” Of course, she threw a fit at her husband and me. But fortunately, she eventually saw reason and relented. As it turned out, her preferred way to celebrate was to go away on a cruise with her girlfriends. So, we made that happen.

Should we celebrate good times?

If you are from Nigeria, you will understand the pressure people put on you to celebrate birthdays. Like my sister, I thought that you should let people be. If they don’t want to celebrate, leave them alone and look for another party elsewhere!

But then, when family and friends started bombarding us with calls and texts, I wondered if we even had the right to stop people from celebrating. The Bible tells us, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15, NIV). We all know that mourning is not an option we desire but something that inevitably gets thrown at us at some point in our lives, most times without warning. On the other hand, we can actively choose to rejoice and celebrate good times when they occur. In fact, rejoicing is an active verb that means you are happy about something and act it out by showing great joy or delight.

Moreover, celebrating good times is scriptural and therapeutic for the celebrant and their guests. So next time you want to spend your birthday alone, consider these reasons to let people celebrate with you.

7 reasons to celebrate good times

1) It is a good distraction from self

A healthy and loving heart finds deep happiness in the good of someone else. Celebrating others allows us to forget our problems and focus our attention on loving others.

2) It promotes our health and well-being

Research shows that celebrating significant milestones and accomplishments while gathering for food and drink promotes our social and emotional health. It makes us realize that we have people who care about us and can help and support us when needed. This feeling of social support helps reduce depression and anxiety and can also help us live longer and healthier.  

3) It is a way to demonstrate gratitude

Celebrating birthdays is a way of showing gratitude that we are alive to live another year. It allows the celebrant to appreciate and value the things and people in their lives – friends, family, work, health, etc. And by celebrating with someone on their birthday, we remember, acknowledge, appreciate, and are thankful to God for that person’s life. For more on ways to show gratitude and the health benefits of gratitude, check out “Thankful for the little things.”

4) It is a way to demonstrate love

No one really has to celebrate you, but they choose to do so out of love. Celebrating with someone on their birthday is a way of showing your love for that person and how much they mean to you.

5) It increases social connection

Celebrating birthdays is an avenue to spend happy times with friends and family.

6) It gives us hope for the future

During birthday celebrations, we reminisce, create new memories, and are optimistic about the future.

7) It is fun

 Let’s not forget the fun factor. Celebrating is fun and brings us joy.

For more on why we should celebrate birthdays, check out “Why Should You Celebrate Birthdays?”

Final thoughts

As they say, sibling relationships are one of the longest relationships in a person’s lifetime. I am grateful to have had my sister on this journey called life, and I pray we continue to have each other for many more years to come. Although I did not know this at that age, research shows that, growing up as teenagers, having a sister protects us from feeling lonely, unloved, guilty, self-conscious, and fearful. Even as adults, siblings contribute to our health and well-being as they can help reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, hostility, and loneliness.

And, if you don’t have a biological sister, there is no cause for alarm. The Bible says, “There are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24, NLT). Look around you, and you will find that God has supernaturally gifted you with that friend that sticks closer than a sister!

Although my sister does not want me to draw attention to her, I will anyway. In fact, she didn’t want a social media post or blog post either. But as usual, I am being the naughty sister and posting regardless. So, Pastor Bola, I celebrate you and pray for more anointing and success in all your endeavors. Thank you for being an exceptional sister, friend, and confidant.

Finally, thank you to all our friends and family members who celebrated with my sister, physically or virtually. You are all appreciated. And I pray that we will always have cause to celebrate one another.

Please feel free to comment below and also share this article.

Yours in health and fitness,

Doctor Abi